Discuss one or two of the following situations.  Try to have a conversation about the situation, rather than just fishing for the textbook answer, “I’d be content!”

What would contentedness look like if;

• Your family goes to Target, and you do not get a toy or treat when you were expecting one.
• You wanted to play outside but it is raining.
• You wanted to play a game before bed but you ran out of time because picking up your toys took too long.
• You wanted to read three stories before bed, but you only had time enough for two.
• You wanted to eat out for lunch, but you have to eat at home because you already ate out enough times that week.

Notes

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This is a story about learning to be content.  It was told by an elderly Indian gentleman, about when he was a child, many many years ago:

When I was a child of about eight my father said to me, ”Ramesh, why do you have such a sad face?’

He was always aware of my feelings, always observing and commenting on these things.

“Ramesh, why on this beautiful day, with the birds singing and the river running do you look sad?  What could you have to feel sad about?  The world is a beautiful place.  Be happy.”

“I cannot be happy today, Father,” I said.

“And why is that, my son?”

“Because my brother has more friends than I have.  I only have the two boys next door, and he has at least four friends.”

“But why should that trouble you, Ramesh? Do you not like your two friends? Are you not completely happy with them when you run around playing in the forest, or when you climb the trees and wear parrots’ feathers in your hair?”

“Yes, I am happy, but maybe I would be even happier with four good friends.”

“Happiness is happiness, my son.  You cannot measure it.  You cannot count it.  You must learn to know it when you have it and be content with it, and if you are not lucky enough to be happy one day, then still be content to wait until it comes back to you again, for surely it will.  So go and find your friends, my son and try to be happy and enjoy them.”

Optional Questions

1. Who noticed that Ramesh was looking sad?
2. Why was Ramesh feeling sad?
3. Did the father think that Ramesh needed as many friends as his brother in order to really be happy?
4. Why did the father think that Ramesh could be happy with his two friends?
5. How do you feel when you compare yourself to people who have more friends or more possessions than you have?
6. What about the opposite of that…How do you feel when you are thankful for what you do?
7. How would you feel if you compared yourself to those who are less fortunate or don’t have much?

Notes

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It was a beautiful day to be outside.  The leaves were changing colors on the trees and a Mother asked her kids, Rosario and Juanita  if they wanted to go to the park with her for an hour.  The kids were so excited.  They loved to play at the park.

The kids walked with their Mom to the playground down the street.  They collected leaves, rolled balls down the slide, swung on the swings, and chased each other around the park. They were having so much fun!  Just as they started to hang from the monkey bars, the kids heard their Mom calling them.  “Rosario and Juanita, we are going to leave the park to go home in 5 minutes.”

“Oh no!” said Juanita.  “I don’t want to leave.  I want to stay longer.”

“Mama, could we please have more time at the park?  We don’t want to leave yet,” asked Rosario.

“Not today, we have to go home so we can eat dinner,” explained Mom.

Rosario  and Juanita were really disappointed.  “Should we try to hide when Mom calls us to leave…maybe we can have more time at the park?” whispered Juanita.

“No, I think we should try to be satisfied with our time at the park.  We better run over to Mom when she tells us that we need to go home,” said Rosario.

When Mom called them a couple of minutes later, both kids ran over to their Mom.  Juanita said, “Thanks for taking us to the park.  We had so much fun.  Can we come back another day?”

“I am sure that we can come back again soon,” replied Mom as they walked home together.

Optional Questions

1. Where did the kids go with their Mom?
2. Did the kids want to leave the park?  What did they do when Mom said it was time to go?
3. What do you like to do so much that you never want to stop?
4. How can you be content even if you have to stop doing something you really like to do?
5. Why is it important to be content?

Notes

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One day a dog had a large piece of meat from a butcher shop in his mouth.

He ran far away looking for a spot where he could eat the meat in peace.  As he crossed a bridge over a deep, slow-moving river, he happened to look down. Seeing his reflection in the water, he thought to himself, “That dog down there has a piece of meat, too.  His looks bigger than mine.   I think I’ll try to take his meat from him.  I will bark at him, then he will be scared of me and give me his meat too.  What a clever dog I am!”

But when he opened his mouth to bark, the meat fell out and sank beneath the water out of sight.

Optional Questions:

Was there really another dog in the water?  Did the dog get to eat his piece of meat?  How did the dog lose his piece of meat?

What could have happened if the dog would have been content with what he had?

How do you feel when you see that someone else has more than you?

How do you feel when you see that someone has less than you?

What kinds of things make you feel the most jealous?

How can we show that we are content?

Read the following

You can practice forgiveness by first admitting the mistake that you or someone else has made.  Facing the truth about what happened takes courage.  You may feel sad and angry.  Let your feelings come and then let them go, like leaves passing by in a stream.

When you are forgiving, you don’t punish someone by taking revenge or holding a grudge.  You don’t punish yourself by calling yourself bad names.

Discuss one or two of the following situations.  Try to have a conversation about the situation, rather than just fishing for the textbook answer, “I’d say ‘I forgive you/them’”.

What would forgiveness look like if…

• Your friend accidentally broke your favorite toy?
• Your mother is late picking you up from school?
• You did something you feel is very bad?
• Your sister or brother repeatedly takes something of yours without asking?
• Someone lost their temper with you and later apologized?

Notes

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Victor Hugo tells the following story:

Bienvenu Myriel was a bishop over a part of France in 1815.  He had no possessions except two silver candlesticks and some silverware that had been given to him by an aunt.  He lived very simply with his sister who took pride in the silverware and candlesticks.  Myriel worked for justice for the poor, sick, and imprisoned.  He never locked any doors in or around his house and never took profit from his position as bishop but instead helped the poor.  He once said,

Let us never fear robbers or murderers. Those are exterior dangers, small things. Let us fear ourselves.  Prejudices are the real robbers; selfishness and hate are the real murderers. The great dangers lie within ourselves. It doesn’t matter what happens to your head or your purse! Only worry about things that threaten your soul.

One day, Jean went to the bishop’s house.  Jean had been in prison for nineteen years because he had stolen some food to help feed his sister’s children.  When he was released, he had to walk for many days to get back to his home.  Because he had been in prison, no one would sell him food or give him a place to stay.  He was very tired from walking and starving.

When he asked for help at the bishop’s house, the bishop was very hospitable.  The bishop treated Jean like a brother and told him that everything in the house belonged to Jean as much as it did to the bishop.  The bishop never scolded Jean for his past but gave him his best food and a place to sleep.

In the middle of the night, when the bishop and his sister were asleep, Jean woke up and stole  all of the silverware.  He took it and left without waking anyone up.

In the morning, when the bishop’s sister discovered it was missing, she told the bishop that Jean had stolen it.

The bishop said that Jean needed those things more than he did.

Soon the police brought Jean Valjean back to the bishop’s house because they found him with the silverware.

“Ah! here you are!” the bishop said to Jean. “I am glad to see you!  Say, I gave you the silver candlesticks, too.  Why didn’t you take them along with your forks and spoons?”

The police said, “We thought he had stolen these things.”

The bishop said, “No, it’s a mistake.  You may go.”

Optional Questions

1. Why didn’t other people help Jean by giving him food or a place to stay?
2. What effect do you think the bishop’s forgiveness and non-judgment had on Jean?

Notes

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This week is an experiment to try a family storytelling format without a formal written story.  Our motivation for this experiment is to see if—after spending several weeks talking and learning about generosity—we can recall any simple moments that either led to generosity or represented some kind of challenge in showing generosity.  One suggestion for this week is to try to think of some instance in advance of the meal.  That way, if no one can recall a specific moment, you will have one to suggest.  The goal for young children is to identify simple actions that highlight the virtue (or the struggle for it).  One suggestion is to focus on just describing the observable actions of your “moment” and then you can ask questions about some of the internal thoughts or motives behind the generous actions (or struggle to be generous), such as “Why do you think it was difficult to share that…” or “What made you want to give that away?” etc.

Read

“Now that our family has been talking and learning about how to give and share with others for a few weeks, let’s see what we can recall about showing generosity ourselves.  Is there a moment when you found yourself giving or sharing freely with someone without expecting something in return?  Or maybe you remember a time when you gave something away just for the sheer joy of seeing someone’s face light up to receive your gift?  It may be that you have given things besides “presents” to others, things like hugs or kisses or even just telling someone what a great friend they are—these are things we can share to show that we love someone.  And that’s another way of being generous.”

[At this point, ask family members to recall when they have recently shared or given something to others.  Suggestion: avoid asking “if” they can recall a time (this is more likely to lead to “yes” or “no” answers which can shut down reflection) and instead ask “when” do you recall… or “what’s a time” when you remember giving or sharing something with someone else]

“Another way we can learn about generosity is to think of a time when it was hard to give or share something with another person.  We wouldn’t need to learn about generosity together if it was easy, right?  So, maybe there are times when you struggled to share something, even though you thought it might be a good idea.  Everyone feels that way, at times, so it can help us learn about generosity simply by remembering times when it was difficult.”

[Again, ask when family members recall a time recently when they had an opportunity to be generous, but it was a struggle or they thought about being generous after the moment had passed, etc.  Ironically, this form of questioning is one way of nurturing humility in being able to share our struggles with each virtue.  For some, this kind of family storytelling may be just as helpful to learning about generosity as the first question.]

Notes

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Read the following

Generosity begins by recognizing some person or group that deserves your help.  It could be your family.  Then think of some way to help or something to give.

Look for things to share that mean something to you.  You can share your time, knowledge, things, or money.  Look for a way to give what you can – a way that gives others the feeling that they deserve what you are giving.

Don’t look for anything in return.  Don’t look at how your gift is used – just give it freely and let it go.  You’ll feel good because you have given generously!

Discuss one or more of the following situations

What would generosity look like if…

• A friend comes over to play the day after your birthday and you have a new toy?
• A friend who has broken your toys before wants to play with your favorite one?
• Your mother or father is cooking dinner and needs someone to set the table, and you’re watching your favorite video?
• A child in your class has forgotten their lunch and doesn’t have any money?
• Someone’s birthday is coming up and you wonder what to get them?

Notes

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Read the following

Compassion begins by paying attention to yourself and to others.  Notice when someone looks sad or is having some trouble in their life (it could be an animal or a person).  Go up to that person and show that you understand and care by:

• Sitting close by, letting them know that you are there and that they’re not alone
• Listening if they want to talk
• Sharing your own experience if you had a similar one
• Understanding and forgiving them if they hurt you without meaning to
• Doing what you can to help—it might just be praying for them and then asking how you can be helpful

Discuss one or more of the following situations

What would compassion look like if…

• Your dog is caught up in its leash?
• A friend is confused about what the teacher said?
• Someone is sad because their mother is sick in the hospital?
• A new student is lonely and feels left out?
• Your mother or father seems very tired after a family outing or doing some chores?

Notes

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The sources of the stories we have so far are categorized under Sources.